Yes. You read that correctly. I need to stay away from serial killers.
I have an extremely overactive imagination and a fascination with serial killers, cold cases, murderers, etc. Do not worry it is a healthy fascination, I am not taking notes or anything. I just want to know what makes them tick, why is it they do not possess the conscious ability to know that murder is wrong and keeping extra body parts in your freezer IS NOT OK. I like the psychological perspective of it all. I appreciate the medical side of it too, is it something neurological? Did the killer have a traumatic brain injury as a child that messed up his or her “wiring”? It is just interesting to me.
Which leads me to the title of this blog. I love to read books, every now and then I get on a serial killer, murder mystery kick. I will get on this kick and submerse myself in these stories and then it happens…….. My overactive imagination, makes me paranoid as fuck. EVERYONE is a killer now.
The first time my imagination decided to be an asshole, was when I was reading this series (for the life of me I cannot remember who wrote it.) It was one of those free books from the Kindle library. The series was about a detective who solved murder cases, mainly serial killers. I believe it was the third book in the series, and this particular killer was targeting women (who either miscarried or had abortions. Can’t remember which.) The killer would murder them and take their uterus. The goal was for the killer to build a giant uterus so that she could be reborn!
Look… Y’all this book fucked with my head something awful. I was convinced someone was going to kill me and take my damn uterus, gave me nightmares, just fucked with my head. So I took a nice long break from murder mysteries. A really long break.
About six months ago, my friend Brianna (love her!) introduced me to the podcast My Favorite Murder! This podcast is awesome y’all! They talk about… you guessed it murders! I was sucked into this podcast! Listened to it every single day, could not get enough of it. My kiddos had stayed the night at my mom’s house one weekend and I picked them up and was not thinking, or I was so engrossed in the podcast I forgot that the kids should not listen to it. This podcast was talking about the “Cannibal Bus Killer” (look it up) and all of a sudden I hear my daughter “I think I may be sick, that is so gross!” I had a bad mom moment, it happens. I was officially addicted to this podcast.
Then it HAPPENED. The day came when my paranoid over active imagination took over, and I offended this sweet old man.
I had walked into the gas station and this little old man smiled and said “Hello there.” What happened was the words I was thinking in my head, the words that no one could hear, made their way to my mouth. Word vomit at it’s finest! Instead of saying “hello” or “hi,” my dumbass said “I am NOT falling for that TRICK! Find another VICTIM!”
I stood there for a moment, realizing what I had just done. He had a look on his face of fear and confusion. This man probably thought I was higher than a kite or just batshit crazy. We stood there for about 30 seconds staring awkwardly at each other, when i stammered “Yeah, so.. I did not mean to say that out loud. Have a nice day. I am sorry!” And I turned around, walked out and left.
That poor man, I can only imagine what he was thinking. That incident made me take another sabbatical from murder.
The reason for this post, is because my boyfriend saved me from my imagination again. He reminded me of the old man incident, because I had started listening to the podcast again.
I think I am going to have to stay away from my interest and save some other old person or person in general from being offended by my paranoid overactive imagination. Life really is not fair.